SLANG & HARD TALK

The voices in Chandler’s work don’t come from nowhere. Throughout his writing career he kept notebooks, jotting down words and phrases that made up the gritty vernacular of Los Angeles. Among his entries are slang compilations drawn from San Quentin prison, railroad gangs, the street and the underworld. There is one section headed simply: Slang and Hard Talk. A moll buzzer targeted women’s handbags; a lip was a lawyer; a lifeboat was a parole; toots was a chorus boy. Beyond slang, the notebooks contain sections on similes, style and gags – what might be called Chandlerisms – which are tested and honed in short stories until they fly off the tongue in the full novels. The surviving papers were deposited at the Weston Library at the Bodleian in Oxford by his literary agent Helga Greene.

SIMILES

The ability to sling a simile raised Chandler’s hardboiled detective novels into high-literary prose, with a dash of comedy. Here are some of the most memorable phrasings.

As rare as a fat mailman (postman).
As shallow as a cafeteria tray.
As meaningless as cheap lacquer.
As hard as a park bench (use in another sense).
As meaningless as a smoke ring.
As dull as a football interview.
As cold as a bride’s dinner.
As cold as a nun’s breeches.
As clean as Aunt Harriet’s guest room.
As clean as an angel’s neck.
As cold as Finnegan’s feet.
As slippery as a watermelon seed.
As noiseless as a finger in a glove.
As busy as a dirty story in a sorority house.
As inconspicuous as a privy on the front lawn.
As uncomfortable as a chiropractic treatment.
As tight as a rubber stocking.
As empty as a scarecrow’s pockets.
As soothing as a piano salesman.
As lonely as a lighthouse.
As limp as a busboy’s shirt.
As lonely as an abandoned well.
As lonely as  the caboose of a fifty car freight.
As French as a doughnut.
As graceful as a Chopin ending.
As much sex appeal as a turtle.
As exclusive as a mailbox.
As shiny as a clubwoman’s nose.

“She threw her arms around my neck and nicked my ear with the gunsight”

“The only difference between you and a  monkey is you wear a larger hat.”

“A salad so fancy it ought to be pinned to the wall for a decoration.”

“This is hush-hush. I’m only telling it to the people I know.”

“A little well-bred obscenity never did any harm.”

“She had a nice cool goddamyou smile.”

“It was the kind of house where they have a monogram on the toilet paper.”

“A great long gallows of a man with a ravaged face and a haggard glass eye.”

“His smile was wide, about three quarters of an inch.”

“He had a soft water voice.”

“High enough to have snow on him.”

“The day lay ahead of him flat and heavy as a fallen cake.”

“No more charm than a washtub.”

“No more personality than a paper cup.”

“His face was long enough to wrap twice around his neck.”

“So tight his head squeaks when he takes his hat off.”

“Take your ears out of my way and I’ll leave.”

“I left her with her virtue intact, but it was a struggle. She nearly won.”